My first thoughts



This was the note I posted on my Facebook and in my birth group forum:

So the genetisist called today and our son has Down syndrome.  I don’t even know enough about it to know what that really means yet.  The test is 99.9% accurate so there is little room for doubt.

I had Josh come home early from work so that I could tell him in person.  We have shared the news with our immediate families and everyone has shed some tears as the news is still a shock no matter what the warning signs were.

Our Dr. recommended the Mile High Down Syndrome Association so we have been doing some reading there.

I’m feeling a lot of things right now.  But I’ll tell you the good things I believe.  Josh and I have recently been through some very hard things that not only brought us closer together than we have been in years but also brought us closer to God.  When I found out I was pregnant I actually said to Josh, “Do you think God allowed us to go through that because he knew we needed to be together and with him because there is going to be something wrong with the baby?”  Josh said “nah” but I think that may have been the Holy Spirit warning me.

I truly believe that God has a plan for both of my sons lives and that He has prepared me with what I will need to do this.

I believe God is with me.

I believe that I am a strong woman and that perhaps, we were chosen to raise this very special life because of our strengths.

I still believe in miracles and there is always the chance of a miraculous healing by God but I feel at peace with the path I currently see before me.

I’m sad about a lot of things and maybe even mad and scared about a few but I will not be mad at God for one second.  It is only by His grace that I have children and I will do my best to be the best possible mother I can to both of my beautiful, perfect boys.

Josh and I have both decided to start blogging about this experience.   Not only will it help us sort out our thoughts, but maybe it will help someone else going through something similar.  I’ll probably post a link to mine later.

Again I love you all and thank you so much for your prayers.  Please continue to pray for a miraculous healing for our boy or that I can at least make it as far as possible with this pregnancy so the surgery will be as safe as possible.


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3 Responses to My first thoughts

  1. Josh says:

    Just remember that I love you, Jayden loves you, our family loves us, and sometimes you just need to breathe! Everyone I have talked to today said the people with Down’s that they know are the nicest, happiest, heartful people they’ve ever known. I can’t wait to meet him.

  2. Andrea Oakley says:

    Josh is so right. When I was expecting Gabriel I kept smiling (between the tears or while crying) about the joyful kind soul I was expecting. I can’t wait to meet your sweet little man and hug him and kiss him over and over again. 🙂

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