Ok so I’m cleaning out my drafts and I came across this post. It’s good, but never got published. I wrote this one on June 30th, 2011. Sorry for how out of place it is.
The reason my Mom was at the NICU tonight instead of me was because, well, first, she goes all the time at night so I can be with Jayden, but second, I couldn’t be there all night because I had to have a D&C procedure done, which I will get to at the end of this post.
I had a remarkably up and down week. On top of all the stuff with Levi, we were rear ended on Saturday (or was it Sunday? I think it was Saturday…all my days blend together now). It was a fender bender in that literally our fender is bent (lol)! We were turning left onto a street at a green arrow with a bunch of people. A women in the front SLAMMED on her brakes when she realized she was missing her next turn. We all slammed on our brakes too, except for the 16 yr old kid in his Dad’s jeep behind us, and the elderly man behind him. The kid hit us and the old man hit him and so he consequently hit us again. I was the only one injured. I was leaning forward for the first impact then sat up right before the second and my seat has no headrest because I removed it so I could see Jayden from the drivers seat (which Josh CONSTANTLY nagged me to put it back for just this reason and I said, “When was the last time we were in the car accident? It’s fine!” lol).
Then on Monday it was my Anniversary!!!
My husband arranged for my parents to watch Jayden. We went to dinner in the same restaurant as the night we got engaged (P.F. Chang’s downtown). We took a short stroll through Writer Square and down the 16th Street Mall for a cup of coffee. When we returned to our car at the restaurant, there was a horse drawn carriage waiting outside that took us on the long tour of the city (also just like the night we got engaged).
The weather was perfect! The evening was cooling down after a hot summer day and a brief afternoon shower. We past some flowering trees in the Capitol Hill park that smelled exquisite, discovered a few new small places we would like to visit, and rode right under the low lights that drape over the street in Larimer Square.
Denver is really a beautiful city when you take a slow, leisurely look at it! Especially all the old west buildings. I find it really interesting that AT&T and Qwest now reside in the old Bell building from the 1800’s and the “cash register building” as we call it, has a Wells Fargo!
Then we went to the Hotel Monaco which is an AMAZING beautiful hotel and my husband took a bit from savings and got the Mediterranean Suite!! (Also something cool was that he is having a great week in affiliate marketing and while we were doing all this he made enough money to pay for the whole thing. He wrote about that here.)
It was an unbelievable get away for one night to just enjoy our love for each other and let everything else just melt away.
On Tuesday I finally got in to see the Chiropractor to deal with my neck pain from the accident. I feel better already, but I talked to him about how I’ve been running again and my knee pain is bad. He said I’m too close to the pregnancy and my ligaments are still loose from the hormones, so I need to wait longer before going so high impact. Time to get a gym membership and get on that elliptical… I actually like running more than an elliptical. My toes and feet tingle on an elliptical and no one can tell me why or how to stop it.
On Wednesday I finally got back into my OB for a recheck. WEEKS ago I had gone in for severe cramping and bleeding. She had seen that I still had material in my uterus from the pregnancy by doing an ultra sound (I’ll try not to go into too many details here for the more light hearted readers lol). She gave me a medicine to make me contract and flush it out but I was supposed to go for a recheck in a week to make sure that happened. Things with Levi kept spiraling out of control and I kept canceling the recheck. Time slipped away from me, and suddenly I’m 7 weeks out from delivery and still having pretty severe pain and bleeding.
So I finally get in for a recheck Wednesday and she sees I still have the material in there so she tells me I need a D&C and I need it TOMORROW! She said, “It’s been in there for WAY too long by now and you are at serious risk for problems.” I assumed infection, but the NICU nurse later told me a way it can actually kill you, so that’s good… I wish someone had told me earlier; I might have prioritized my recheck a bit lol.
So I stopped eating and drinking ANYTHING, even water at midnight and checked in for the “procedure” at 2pm today. I was completely sedated and intubated (given a breathing tube). I remember the anesthesiologist saying he was going to hook me up to a bunch of stuff first, before putting me under, but he was giving me something to help me relax right now. I said, “Yay! Fun!” (lol) and then a few seconds later said, “Am I supposed to feel it this fast?” and that’s the last thing I remember.
I woke up to him telling me surgery was over. I was aware that I had been having the strangest dream where I know I was searching and searching for something really really important but couldn’t find it. I said, “Wait, it’s over? When did we start?” And then I suddenly burst into tears. I sobbed. Well, as best as I could. My throat was so swollen from the breathing tube (and now I have an idea of how awful poor Levi must have felt). I asked, “Um, is that the anesthesia making me emotional?” and the nurse said, “Yeah that can happen, just let it out.”
So I sat there and bawled for about 5 min, apologizing to the nurses 100 times (lol)! Then, I pulled myself together and was wide awake. The nurses were like “Holy cow you recover fast!” That’s the same thing they said after my C-section.
It turned out my nurse used to work in the NICU at Good Samaritan (where I was for my surgery) and so I told her a bit about Levi, which of course made me cry again for a minute). She said she had twins which brought up her large belly size with them so of course I had to tell her my story.
When I run down through a list of what I have been through this year…it is ABSOLUTELY ABSURD. I mean really, really seriously, ABSURD. I’m not entirely sure if some stranger told me this story if I’d believe her right out of the gate to be honest…
But I do have shining moments in this storm that are incomparably beautiful like Monday night with Josh… Or when Jayden laughs or Levi smiles or when my extended family is together, laughing and helping each other out as best as we can. Or even when a friend emails or comments words or prayers of encouragement. Nothing could ever take away the joy I have in those moments.
*Just a Note* I started writing this on Thursday June 30th 2011.