Education for ALL Disabilities

May 23, 2013

The first weekend in May, Josh and I went to the Parents Encouraging Parents (or PEP) conference.  I cannot recommend it enough!  Seriously.  If you know anyone in Colorado who has a child with ANY disability, or ANY educator or professional in Colorado who works with kids with disabilities (it’s not just for parents), please ask them if they’ve heard of this or gone to it.  It is sponsored by the Colorado Department of Education (or CDE) so if you don’t live in Colorado, check with your state’s Department of Education.  Maybe they do something like this or maybe you could start one.

 

For three days and two nights, the CDE puts you up in a hotel.  The room and all meals (except one dinner) are paid for!  That alone is enough reason to go!  Two free nights in a hotel with good food and a much needed break from the kids?!  Sign me up!  =D

 

It’s in a different Colorado city each time.  The one we went to was in Colorado Springs but I know they’ve done Estes Park, Aspen and others.

 

There is no child care provided.  The point is to get away from the kids for a few days.  Honestly, this is a critical point of the days.  Without the kids you can rest and learn well and come back to them as better equipped parents.

 

The three day conference unveils the mysteries about how to help your child get the best education possible.  In Colorado, children ages 0-3 with disabilities get services through the Early Intervention program.  At 3 years old, they are transfered to the education system.  They will then get what’s called an IEP or Individual Education Plan.

 

I was terrified of this.  I had no idea what to expect and honestly, all I had heard were horror stories.  One of the sessions at the conference went through the actual IEP, what it looks like, what’s on it, and what sort of things should be put on it by us and our team.  Another session had two lawyers who specialize in disability law.  They explained the appeal process if you disagree with your school and what you can do to be the best advocate for your kids.  I learned the legal definition of “adequate education” and the difference between “moderation” vs. “accommodation”.  I learned how to ask for an evaluation of my “student” and what my rights as the parent are.  This was from TWO of the many sessions.

 

Honestly, I don’t know if you can get approved to go if you suspect your child has an undiagnosed disability, but it would be worth it to find out.  There is so much they can help you with.

 

The other big help we got was from a behavioral therapist, not for Levi, but for Jayden.  She told us that was perfectly normal.  Sometimes we get so much help for our children with disabilities and given no help at all for their sibling’s behavioral or emotional responses.

 

There was also a session on the grieving process, what it looks like in life and stories of others who have lived it. There are a few small group session too so you get to talk things through with new friends in full confidentiality (Well, our group made our own rules and that was one of them).

 

There was also a session just for men, which I think is really important.  I have no idea what they talked about.  (The first rule of the men’s group is you do not talk about the men’s group.)

 

There were so many good sessions and so much fantastic information.  I feel so incredibly well armed now to be a great advocate for my son.

 

Pics!

 

This was our hotel.

This was our hotel.

 

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Colorado Springs is a beautiful city.

Street Art.  I didn't even see Humpty Dumpty until after I took the pic!

Street Art. I didn’t even see Humpty Dumpty until after I took the pic!

 

Dinner our first night!

Dinner our first night!

 

FANTASTIC book they gave us for free!

FANTASTIC book they gave us for free!

 

Folder full of valuable information... also, I tend to doodle... Always have.

Folder full of valuable information… also, I tend to doodle… Always have.

 

Very helpful and quick guide.

Very helpful and quick guide.

 

Again... I like to doodle. lol Also, this is a typical handout for a session.  The power points with room for notes.

Again… I like to doodle. lol Also, this is a typical handout for a session. The power points with room for notes.

 

There were a couple of times we got to pick which sessions we wanted to go to out of a group of choices.  Here's an example.

There were a couple of times we got to pick which sessions we wanted to go to out of a group of choices. Here’s an example.

 

 

And here’s some pics of the cuteness:

 

<3 Levi

I let him dress himself... backwards AND inside out.  That takes talent!

I let him dress himself… backwards AND inside out. That takes talent!

Talking on the phone, which is actually a remote. haha!

Talking on the phone, which is actually a remote. haha!

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I love this hat!

I love this hat!

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Levi can even put it on by himself.

Levi can even put it on by himself.

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Until big brother steals it.  =)

Until big brother steals it. =)

Categories: Discoveries.

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Happy World Down Syndrome Day!

March 24, 2013

So I started this post on 3/21, World Down Syndrome Day.  It seemed like an appropriate day to get reacquainted with writing my blog.  It’s been too long.  But in usual Amanda tradition, I’m late. Haha!

Anyway, 3/21 is World Down Syndrome Day!  We celebrate on 3/21 because Down Syndrome is caused by a third copy of the 21st chromosome.

The reason why we celebrate people with Down syndrome is, well, because they’re awesome.  But also because sometimes it can seem like the world is against them.  With more and more articles being written with titles like “Down Syndrome May Soon Be Extinct”, it’s more imperative than ever that we show the world how amazing people with Down syndrome are.  Some medical journal articles argue for mandatory testing and some articles insinuate flat out say that if mothers knew earlier into their pregnancies that they were expecting a baby with Down syndrome, they would all abort.  One medical ethics paper (irony) even said that the negatives of having a baby with Down syndrome outweigh the posititve, which is a flat out lie and an ignorant bias.  Clearly the author didn’t even ask families what they think.  MSNBC reported that,

“Among 2,044 parents or guardians surveyed, 79 percent reported their outlook on life was more positive because of their child with Down syndrome…Skotko also found that among siblings ages 12 and older, 97 percent expressed feelings of pride about their brother or sister with Down syndrome and 88 percent were convinced they were better people because of their sibling with Down syndrome. A third study evaluating how adults with Down syndrome felt about themselves reports 99 percent responded they were happy with their lives, 97 percent liked who they are, and 96 percent liked how they looked”.

At the same time though, more and more stories are coming out about the amazing things people with Down syndrome are accomplishing when given the chance.  Everything from owning a restaurant, to climbing to the Mount Everest base camp, to learning German to star in a film, all things I certainly couldn’t do.

The point is that Down syndrome does not need to go extinct anymore than a hair color or skin color needs to be forced into extinction.  After so many decades of people with Down syndrome being grossly undervalued, neglected and even hated, it is time to show the world what fantastic and amazing gifts they really are.  And what better way to do that than a World Down Syndrome Day?

So, back to the blog.  It’s been such a long time I thought I’d just make a quick video montage of pictures to get us all caught up.   It’s about 4 min long and put to one of the best songs ever =).

But first,

Levi is walking!!

And here is the video to summarize quite a few months in a little over 4 min.  I have been contacted lately by a few people who are, right now in the middle of something similar to what we went through.  I hope this video shows you that sunnier days are coming.

Categories: Discoveries.

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Play Time The Movie!

July 14, 2012

Ok so some of you have already seen this, but for those of you who haven’t, here is a 45 second clip I made with my boys:

 

 

I made it with Imovie and it was soooo easy.  If you have family videos on YouTube, link some in the comments below!  I’d love to see your favorites!!

Categories: Discoveries.

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The Golden Child

June 18, 2012

 

So I belong to this group on Facebook: DS Mommies.

Last week a Mommy posted this:

“I had a moment today. Another mother was talking to me about her grown up children and their plans for the future. It made me sad. I looked over at my sweet Alyssa and I just wanted to cry. I smiled politely & nodded my head like a good listener does. Does anyone else have moments like this?”

One Mommy had this statement in her reply:

“I know people who are so focused on their child’s successes, and I’m not sure what will happen the first time their child doesn’t perform.”

And then there was this reply:

“Yep – it’s hard. I do remember it being much worse when Belle was a baby, but it’s still hard some days. I do completely love what [was stated above] though – my brother John, who was 17 years older than I am – really hit it home for me when I told him Belle was born with DS. John was the ‘golden’ first child in our family – ridicuously smart and althletic and charming. People expected great things from him – but John suffered from a different genetic challenge called addiction (well, I believe it’s genetic.) By 17 John was across the country selling drugs and when he came home at 19 it was because his health was too poor to live on his own anymore. He suffered from an autoimmune disease that attacked his joints (triggered by an STD) and spent much of the rest of his life in a wheelchair – most of it living with my parents. He did eventually have a successful rehab and was straight for a decade but in his late 40′s his health was really declining and he was pretty hooked on painkillers. When I shared with John how devestated I was about Belle’s future he said something like – ‘Well, look at me. Mom and Dad never thought they’d have to take care of me my whole life but that’s how it ended up. Jen you never know what’s going to happen so don’t count anything out.’ John got to meet Belle twice and then died very suddenly from pneumonia when she was just 3 months old. He was miserable physically and I think God knew it was time to take him. But that was by far the greatest gift I had ever gotten from my brother – when people are planning their futures and I start to feel sad I remember that we don’t know what’s going to happen – God is in control”.

Categories: Discoveries.

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Dance! Dance!

April 18, 2012

So being in the community I have met some really fantastic people.  This week I wanted to tell you about Delayna Skadorwa.  She runs a Zumba class that is free for individuals with disabilities!   It has so many positive effects in people’s lives that I wanted to share it with everyone.  She is in the Kennewick, WA area so if you are near there and would like to know more about attending you can email her @  delayna.skadorwa@gmail.com.  This is her story in her own words:

Hi Amanda! My class is free for individuals with special needs and family member/s or an aide can attend for free. I have Ds, autistic, and other developmentally delayed students in the class. We’ve been doing this since October 2011 and I’m getting wonderful feedback. One case worker wrote me a thank you letter saying people want another class added during the week, that the students are losing weight and their doctors are very happy I’m offering this class for them.  A little background…..I was taking Zumba classes and brought my daughter to a family class. Macie (probably 2 at the time) w/Ds loved the music! She dances to almost any music but really liked the latin stuff. There was a couple times I saw a young man w/Ds in the regular classes and he was really getting into some of the moves. I was talking to my mom one day (she was asked by the local Arc to start an adult day program for individuals with disabilities here in the Tri-Cities back in the late ’60s and early ’70′s.) I told my mom about seeing the young man in class and how much he was enjoying it….my mom suggested I start my own class for individuals w/special needs. Of course, what a great idea (I had been wanting to get back into teaching as I was a fitness instructor before I had kids.) So I asked the Arc if I could instruct at their new facility here and they seemed interested so I got licensed to instruct Zumba..it didn’t work out to instruct the class at the Arc. I was asked to instruct regular Zumba at another gym (didn’t work out cause there was no child care for the time they wanted me.) I tried my Zumba class for individuals for special needs at that gym but the time and place didn’t work. Finally..I asked the [place we are now] if I could do the class there. It worked and the class is growing and successful! The students and I are like family now. I get feedback like “you’re nice” and “I love you” and huge hugs from everyone! The students and myself look forward to every [week].  I would love to have students who are deaf take the class and I hope to instruct a free class to the little ones in our Down syndrome association here. 

The edits I did in brackets are just because this is the internet and there are a lot of haters and creeps out there so I just don’t feel comfortable laying out a time and place here.  But please please please email her if you are interested in going!  She is really such a sweetheart!  Now time for pics of all the fun!

 

 

 

 

 

 

I hope that when Levi is old enough we can find something like this in our area!

Oh! Also, in the theme of the post “Dance! Dance!” I also wanted to post my husband’s remix!  Click here: NOT YOUR FAULT (THE NEVER AFTER AND FALLING IRIS REMIX) to listen.  If you like it you can vote for it and share it!  I know I’m partial because he’s my husband but I really think it’s fantastic!  Definitely caught myself shakin’ my booty to it a few times! (lol)

 

 

Categories: Discoveries.

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Oh Hello Again!

April 3, 2012

Hello!

I’m sorry I haven’t been keeping up on this!  I really have so much to share with you guys.  I’ve learned sooooooo much lately in my journey to Discover Down Syndrome.

Every September the Mile High Down Syndrome Association has a fund raising walk.  I have never participated in a walk for a cause and I was so excited to be a part of something so big and so special.  I have a dear friend named Bev who came for the first time in years to support us and Levi and she said she was blown away by how much it had grown.  She was there in the beginning and I think everyday that I hope she knows all the things she suffered through, the rough learning curve she had to survive, have been my lifeline more times than she knows.

I was also able to reconnect with a simply fantastic woman named Robin.  Robin, my dear beautiful friend, I could write a whole blog about her and it still wouldn’t capture her and her family’s unending love.  Her beautiful daughter, Janet K, passed away this February and there is not a day that goes by without a prayer from my heart for hers.  But it was because of her beautiful Janet K that the Down Syndrome-Autism Connection was started years ago and if you know anyone who may be facing a double diagnosis like this, please please please refer them to this group.  Janet was an unbelievable blessing to all who knew her and this loss is felt all over the community.  This is a really beautiful blog post from someone who was fortunate enough to know Janet.  I only met her once at a Halloween Party but she was simply beautiful.  I left her funeral knowing that those who were lucky enough to really know Janet K were certainly the most fortunate of us all.

Edit: While I was proof reading this post Robin shared a link with a beautiful picture of her and her Janet K.  You can see it here and read her letter.  She is committed to continuing her work for the Down Syndrome Autism Connection which is such a testament to the strength and warmth you will receive if you find yourself needing a group like this.

Of all the many, many things I have learned about Down Syndrome these past few months, the best thing I’ve learned is that loving a person with special needs, even though we don’t mean for it to, it puts a little light in us.  It’s warmth and glow shimmers across the darkness, shatters the growing hate in this world and it spreads like wildfire to all who get to meet and love our special kids.  People with special needs are a gift from God to the world to remind us that true, unconditional and unending love is real.  I have already met so many parents who have true love for their children and I’m sure as both of my boys grow, I will meet many growing children who have true love to give too.

At the Step Up for Down Syndrome Walk in September, there is a Resources Tent.  There were many things represented there that I’m excited to get Levi involved in as he gets older.  But I believe it was here that we met MarkWilliamson (mwilliamson@generationsfr.com).  Mark is a financial consultant, (I believe.  I’m so out of my league on these sort of things- job titles and such) who specializes in helping families who have children with special needs.  I HIGHLY recommend having a free meeting with him!  In one meeting alone you will be amazed by all the things you’ll learn!

My favorite thing right now is that he connected us with a lawyer (who’s office is in the cash register building downtown and O. M. G. is it nice) who specializes in disability trusts.

So, when we first started talking “trusts” this is what I knew:  A “trust baby” is a spoiled brat who acts like the people on Gossip Girl.  Something only for the extremely wealthy.  But I wanted to meet with him anyway and hear what he had to say.  Mark came with us and together they explained why it’s so important to have a disability trust.  There are laws that say if a child has more than… I think $2,500 to his or her name, he can no longer receive government support.  So if we set up a regular trust or savings account for Levi and start putting money in it and then say, we die and he gets older and if it became apparent that he might need government support because he cannot work, he could be denied any help.  This lawyer specializes in helping us protect our children’s future in as many ways as possible.  And the price to do it was shockingly reasonable!  I am especially shocked at the price I’m considering as I looked out over a breath taking view of downtown Denver.  That being said, Josh and I are having a bit of a (severe) financial crisis and so we haven’t been able to meet the shockingly reasonable price yet, but I’m really looking forward to it.  I worried (and still do worry) about how we will fund it, but one step at a time right?  Josh met a man at the D.A.D.S. group (Dad’s Appreciating Down Syndrome – Please check out http://twitter.com/milehighdads or call the MHDSA office at (303) 797-1699 if you’d be interested in meeting up with these guys) who has a golf tournament every year with his friends and it’s a fund raiser for his son’s trust.  So I’m hoping some time in the future some creative friends may partner up with me and we can start getting something going.  But I’m a total NOOB at this sort of thing and extremely nervous so we’ll see.  I may just get a night job to fund it instead of asking for help…

There are so many more things to tell you guys but I promise to be more faithful with this space I’ve carved out on my little corner of the internet to show you what I’m learning and the amazing adventure that we are on!

Time for pictures!  My favorite part!!  I just looked back at the last pics I posted and it has been waaaaaay too long!  You won’t believe how much he’s changed!!  Once we started him on eating solids (and mixing in Juice Plus) all of his issues disappeared and his weight (and strength) took off!!  And of course I’ll include pics of Levi’s older brother Jayden!  Levi will be a year old in a month and Jayden will be two and a half so I am hoping to have a huge celebration!!

This was taken sometime close to midnight and posted on my Facebook page with the caption, "Guess who's not sleeping? Trouble! That's who!" lol

 

Levi telling me what is up in his high chair

 

Jayden loves to play with my make-up

 

Especially my red lipstick

Easter Bunny Jayden

Levi! Destroyer of cotton ball bags! Also, I think you can almost see his lightening bolt in this pic. He has a vein on his forehead that shows through a bit and looks exactly like Harry Potter's lightening bolt! Levi really is "The Boy Who Lived"!!

Levi says, "You know... I'm just chillin..." lol

The next four pics are really funny in order!

And then Mommy throws the camera down and intervenes.

Rocking the morning hair!

Jayden and Daddy at the Train Show. Jayden is obsessed with trains and still daily asks to look at pics of the Train Show on my phone.

And since all the pics of me and my boys involve a squirming lap full of boys I usually don't look so great...

So this is a half way decent (bathroom) pic of me! lol

He just looked so adorable in this jeans and t-shirt look! Reminded me of pics of my Grandpa from the 50's... except without the cigarettes rolled into his sleeve. lol

And then he was even cuter when I put his shirt on! lol

Goodnight Moon!

Categories: Discoveries.

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Relief!

April 9, 2011

 

So today was another check-up with the perinatologist.

I bumped into our usual nurse in the elevator and she asked, “How are you?”, in the way people do when the answer is supposed to be, “Good” or “Fine”.  But I said, “I’m MISERABLE!”, with maybe a bit of a smile, but definitely in all seriousness.  She looked shocked so I said, “I’m just being honest.”, and laughed.

I met ANOTHER new Dr. today.  I really have the worst luck with that, but I really liked this guy.  Everyone who saw my belly said “Oh my god!”, and everyone who touched it said, “Oh man you are as hard as a rock!”, and the nurse (who I adore) said, “You know who you look like? Octomom!” (hahahahahaha….sigh…yeah…I know…) (Also, I was gonna post pics here of Octomom at full term but the images grossed me out! lol Feel free to google them if you like, but I don’t think I look QUITE that bad…but close)

The Dr. said my cervix looks good and it doesn’t look like labor is imminent, but then again with this condition things can change quickly.  The baby is measuring perfectly in the 50% percentile which is good because babies with Down’s can measure a few weeks behind.  He is about 5lbs!  His heart rate was perfect and my blood pressure was perfect (which I always worry about since I had pre-eclampsia with Jayden).

We discussed how absolutely miserable I was physically.  I was having pain in my upper abdomen that felt like my muscles were literally tearing, severe round ligament pain, not sleeping because rolling over takes 10 min because it’s so painful, back pain and trouble breathing to name a FEW.  Thursday I think I cried almost all day just out of pure frustration from the never ending discomfort.

So we decided to drain some fluid.

They do it the same way amniocentesis is done but with a wider needle and they take much more than is needed for amnio tests.  They had me lay on my back, found the deepest pocket of fluid with an ultrasound, numbed my skin and inserted the needle into the peak of my belly.  Soon though I said, “I’m feeling a little nauseous (it was more than a little but I was trying to be tough).  Is that from the release of pressure?”  They told me to try rolling to my side to see if that helped but when I did the fluid stopped draining and we had only just started.  So I rolled back to my back and said “I can endure a little nausea for this” because I was so desperate for relief.  But very soon I realized I was covered in sweat, very nauseous, shaking and seeing little fireflies.  Again I tried to just be tough, breath through it and stay calm.

The nurse looked at me and said “You’re going to pass out.”  And I said, “No I think I’m just scared and freaking out a little and it’s making me hot” (Which would really be very unlike me, medical stuff doesn’t usually freak me out).  And she said, “No you just went pale, you need to roll over now!”, and pushed me over to my left side.

Apparently when you have that much pressure and you’re laying on your back, your organs can be crushed and blood flow to the brain stops!  Good to know!

They had to start over with me on my side and re-insert the needle in a new spot.  These spots can be very sore for a few days because they monitor the needle and the baby with an ultrasound and they wiggle the needle around to avoid him as he moves and to keep the flow going as steady as possible.  Every time they had to change the bottle the needle leaked and all in all it was a very messy processes.  I was really glad I had asked Josh to leave the room.  Even though I had wanted his hand to hold a few times, it was almost a bit much for me and I enjoy studying dead people soooooo…  I’m not sure anyone else not medically certified would have made it without passing out!

They were able to take more than 2 liters of fluid!  I didn’t understand why they had to stop at that (something to do with pressure and flow) but they said I still have over 5 liters left in there.  Normal amounts is 1 liter…. ONE!  And I had over SEVEN!  No wonder I was miserable! (Interesting note though-The Dr. said a liter weighs a bit over 2lbs so that plus the weight of the baby is actually a bit over the amount of weight I’ve gained! Since I asked how much it weighed, he later teased, me saying I should run out and weigh myself the moment the procedure was over. lol) (Also, Ok, So maybe I don’t think I look quite like Octomom but I have enough fluid to have SEVEN babies sooooooo….maybe I do?  One of these days I may get brave enough to post a pic we took of me from the side a couple of weeks ago but my face looks so miserable I can’t quite bring myself to do it)

They had me stay and lie down in another room and drink juice for a while.  I had to get the fireflies to go away, get some color back into my face and be able to walk straight.  The nurse said “I don’t want you to leave until you feel like a natural woman”. (lol)  I thought, “Well then I guess I’m here until I deliver because right now I just feel like a house”. (lol) The nurse later gave me a hug on the way out.  I thought that was so sweet.

They told me to take pictures of the 5 filled bottles of fluid for my scrapbook (these guys made me laugh a lot today which was so nice)!  I didn’t take a pic of that but I do have a pic of a toilet for you! (lol)  The normal floor this office is on is under-construction so they are sharing a space with the place people go for gastric bypass surgery consultations (which added to the whole mess of things with the procedure because they have only been in the new place for two days and they didn’t know where half of the stuff was that they needed at first-also the nurse said they very rarely do this-that was reassuring…).  The toilet seats and benches in the waiting room were all extra large.  Some even to the point where they made me feel small and that is QUITE the feat right now.  It made me grateful that this misery is so so so temporary and I prayed for the people in the office that day who were searching for relief too, just a different type.  But seriously, how awesome is this toilet?!

It looks like it's made from UFO parts!

I’m feeling soooo much better now!  I can BREATHE!!!  I’m pretty sore in the injection sites and I have to take it easy tomorrow because there are some risks with this process but I can’t explain how much better I feel.

The Dr. said I have to call on Monday and let them know if it feels like the fluid had returned already.  If so they’ll drain me again next week but if not they’ll wait two.  They intend on just repeat draining me until I reach full term.  It wasn’t a fun procedure but if I can make it to full term and NOT be begging God to put me in a coma, I’m happy.

I’m 34 weeks today which was the second milestone the Dr.’s were hoping for!  Now we aim for 37 weeks and he’ll be “officially” full term!!!

Categories: Discoveries.

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My first thoughts

March 18, 2011

 

 

This was the note I posted on my Facebook and in my birth group forum:

So the genetisist called today and our son has Down syndrome.  I don’t even know enough about it to know what that really means yet.  The test is 99.9% accurate so there is little room for doubt.

I had Josh come home early from work so that I could tell him in person.  We have shared the news with our immediate families and everyone has shed some tears as the news is still a shock no matter what the warning signs were.

Our Dr. recommended the Mile High Down Syndrome Association so we have been doing some reading there.

I’m feeling a lot of things right now.  But I’ll tell you the good things I believe.  Josh and I have recently been through some very hard things that not only brought us closer together than we have been in years but also brought us closer to God.  When I found out I was pregnant I actually said to Josh, “Do you think God allowed us to go through that because he knew we needed to be together and with him because there is going to be something wrong with the baby?”  Josh said “nah” but I think that may have been the Holy Spirit warning me.

I truly believe that God has a plan for both of my sons lives and that He has prepared me with what I will need to do this.

I believe God is with me.

I believe that I am a strong woman and that perhaps, we were chosen to raise this very special life because of our strengths.

I still believe in miracles and there is always the chance of a miraculous healing by God but I feel at peace with the path I currently see before me.

I’m sad about a lot of things and maybe even mad and scared about a few but I will not be mad at God for one second.  It is only by His grace that I have children and I will do my best to be the best possible mother I can to both of my beautiful, perfect boys.

Josh and I have both decided to start blogging about this experience.   Not only will it help us sort out our thoughts, but maybe it will help someone else going through something similar.  I’ll probably post a link to mine later.

Again I love you all and thank you so much for your prayers.  Please continue to pray for a miraculous healing for our boy or that I can at least make it as far as possible with this pregnancy so the surgery will be as safe as possible.

 

Categories: Discoveries.

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